Archive for category Life Lessons

Learning and Growing

whendidichangemymindRecently I noticed something that has secretly baffled me for years but, only recently, was able to describe in words.  It’s something I see in politics, faith, technology, and many other places and is a barrier to gaining new knowledge and loving our neighbor.  It’s something I would normally break down into a single concept in this sentence, but lack one…so I’ll give an example instead:

Think back to the last political campaign (or any campaign you can remember).  During these campaigns, would-be presidents state what they believe about certain issues and what they will do in certain situations if and when they’re elected.  They hold to these core beliefs throughout the election cycle until one of them is in The Office.  Oftentimes, this is when things change.  When that person becomes president it’s a whole new world of information and insight.  They’re able to view top secret information, attend top secret briefings, talk to high level experts on issues, and otherwise fill their heads with a whole lot more information and perspective than they had before.

Now, let me ask this:  What would you think of a person who gains a whole bunch of information about a topic, information that is absolutely sure to change their perspective on some things, and yet still refused to change their opinion or stance on certain issues? What would you think of someone who got new insight which changed the game but they stayed stuck in what they believed before they got all that info?

I can tell you that, in this culture, we call them “confident”, we call them “sure of themselves”, and we call them a leader.  You know what I call them?  A prideful and arrogant person who can’t grow and learn.

When we learn new information about issues, situations, and life in general we should be changing.  We should be growing.  We should be thinking things like “that stuff I said last week was wrong now that I know this”.  And then we should be publicly stating that we lacked information and that we’ve grown since our last statement of belief.  But instead, we don’t.  In our world, changing our mind is seen as weakness. It’s seen as being wishy-washy or ‘passionate’ (in a bad way) or ‘flaky’.  It’s because of this perception that people continue down a straight and arrogant path, refusing to learn and grow, admitting that they may have been wrong in the past.

It’s funny to me whenever I listen to political commentary and “the other side” jumps all over a political figure as a “hypocrite” because they changed their mind on an issue.  How stupid is that?  I’ll tell you: incredibly stupid.  What’s the alternative?  You learn new information that should change your mind and you keep old and incorrect perspectives?  Shame on us for encouraging that.

Over the years I haven’t been afraid to change.  I’ve changed because I’ve learned life lessons and have learned that I was wrong in the past about various issues.  I’ve done this politically, spiritually, socially, and every other way you can imagine.  It’s funny because some people write me off as “passionate” or “wishy washy”, they think I change my mind and live in the moment. The reality is, I change my mind based on new information or personal interactions that teach me that my previous views were wrong.  I’m not afraid to admit that and no one else should be either.

As I always say, if anyone claims to have all the answers about anything (or even most of the answers, I don’t care the topic) I instantly don’t trust them and think them foolish. If you’re not willing to learn and grow, and in the process admit you’re wrong and make drastic changes to correct that, you’re missing out on living a life in the pursuit of truth.  I hope to see more and more people put down their egos, admit they’ve been wrong in the past, and change. I learn to do this more and more every day and have learned that change is the only thing that should be constant.

Learning Something New

Me and my new baby

Me and my new baby

I go through stages in life probably just like anyone else does. For a while I’ll be super lazy, I’ll watch lots of TV, I’ll eat crappy food, I’ll neglect or forget any hobbies or interests I have, and I’ll work too much (and I’m starting to suspect the last item in that list causes the previous items).  Then, suddenly (and seemingly randomly) I’ll start pulling out of the funk.  Usually one small change ends up affecting many others and quickly I’m back on track learning new things, feeling more inspired, working less and living more.  This turn around happened recently and it’s meant more than living healthier:  It’s inspired me to attempt a whole new set of things that I haven’t done before. I was learning new things and, hopefully, growing in the process.

A month or so ago I sold my car simply because I hardly ever drove anywhere but I owned an SUV.  It was dumb.  So, I chucked that big beast and cajoled an ancient memory back into my life:  My 1993 Jeep Wrangler YJ. It was what I drove in high school and my parents had taken it off my hands and were storing it in Florida. They were hesitant to give it back to me because it needed alot of work (and they didn’t want me to waste my money).  But instead, I saw it differently:  I wanted to USE my money and this car to learn something new…I wanted to learn the basics of auto maintenance and repair and this was the perfect opportunity.

Since getting my old ride back to Michigan I’ve been learning alot out of necessity about how a car (and in particular this car) works and how to do the things we normally just pay Mr Muffler to do for us.  I’ve hurt my self, broke things on the car, and have gotten really really dirty in the process, but I’m learning.  And there’s where our little lesson comes in….

Over the years the people close to me have told me I’m good at picking up something totally new, pursuing it, failing constantly until, eventually, I can become proficient enough to seem like I know what I’m doing.  I’m more convinced than ever that they key to doing something new is being willing to fail at it….ALOT.  I can’t tell you how important I think failing is to learning something new.  Those who aren’t willing to fail are those who aren’t willing to learn and change and grow. The odd thing is, I don’t see myself as someone who fails gracefully.  I’m an artsy guy with pretty thin skin….I take criticism pretty hard on the inside while looking like I don’t care on the outside.  But somehow, when I’m learning something I want to learn, my skin gets tougher.  I think it’s because when learning something new it’s important to be up front about your amateur status.  When I walk into an auto parts store, I’m not going to pretend I know an alternator from a distributor (although now I kinda do!)…instead I’m going to be open about knowing nothing, asking advice, picking their brains, and soaking it all in.  Being willing to learn means humbling yourself and looking ignorant for the sake of gaining knowledge. (I think most guys are especially bad at this, but I’ve found that my artsy side helps here…I’m not concerned with being ‘manly’ and all-knowing like some guys are)

insidejeepThis brings me to the second key to learning something new:  I find it essential to read (alot) about what you’re learning before attempting the hands-on stuff. To learn about my Jeep I purchased two big thick user-manuel type books and started reading them cover to cover.  I, literally, only understood about 5% of what I read, but it was starting to craft a view of the situations I’d face when underneath the hood, and crafting this perspective is what I was looking for.

Sure, when I actually crawled underneath the body for the first time nothing looked like the book..but with constant reference back to those pages, comparing with what I saw, I started to gain perspective on the hunk of metal in my driveway.  I think the key to these books for me was the relative safety I had while learning.  I could go at my own pace…I could make mistakes (privately) and I could re-read parts many times until I understood it.  Books are crucial to learning….there’s nothing like the info in them online anywhere, so I find that spending the cash (or heading the library) to read up on your new adventure is crucial.

I feel like I’m pretty good at learning new things and I think it’s a skill everyone should learn to master because it’ll open up a whole world of opportunity and interesting people and places.  Here’s my tips in bullet point form:

  • Find a reason to learn. Don’t decide to learn about cars without a car that will stop running unless you learn.  Don’t decide to learn about boats if you’re 100 miles from an ocean.  Do something that has immediate impact on your life and even your wallet.  Put your money and time into what you want to learn so you have something at stake…otherwise you’ll quit too quickly.
  • Be ready to fail…ALOT. You’re going to look stupid and ignorant about the topic for a while.  Embrace that.  Use this to submit yourself to those who know more.  Learn from them.  They may look down on you but who cares:  You’re learning something new which makes you more interesting than them :)
  • Get into books. They help you learn privately and at your own pace.  Learning in groups or in classes is OK, but I’ll argue that making it personal and having all the time in the world to learn something (as opposed to before the next test) makes it lifelong knowledge that won’t fall out of your head 2 hours after you’re graded on what you’ve learned.  Also, don’t rely on the internet or TV..they just don’t have the detail you need.
  • Be so passionate about what you’re learning that it consumes you for short parts of your life. Learning causally or learning too many things at once is asking for failure or distraction.  Pick one thing and do it alot…for months.  Everything I’ve learned on my own has had a dedicated space in my life.  Whether it be web design, ancient history, the life of Silent Film star Buster Keaton, or philosophy, learning takes intense dedication…to the point people will probaly think you’re crazy.
  • Finally, and this sounds obvious, but don’t give up. Keep failing, keep looking stupid because in the end, you looked stupid for a short time, but you won’t BE stupid like the people who laugh at you in the short term but never learn anything because they’re too afraid to try.

So, get out there and grab something new.  Invest yourself in it.  Do something way outside your comfort zone which is totally unrelated to your day job..and have fun!  Which reminds me, why am I in here staring at a computer screen when I can see the sun shining and my YJ in the driveway that needs muffler work?

The pics in this post were taken by Erik Rambo who was my companion on the 1,500 mile trip, driving the Jeep from Florida to Michigan…the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me….

inside

On The Road

Me and Erik after pulling into our final destination

Me and Erik at our final destination after 24 hours on the road